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How much wood you pay?

$1.99? Don’t mind if I do!

I do feel that, while the price point is quite reasonable–I’d hate to go over the $2 mark on this one–I do feel a bit lied to. I mean, the tag said wood and metal. This is, really, just wood. Or possibly wood and tchotchke, but honestly, I don’t expect stunt-spelling like that in retail.

7-16-11SaverSWood1

The sheer magnitude of underachievement on this one is its true magnificence. No expense was spared, as long as it stayed within the budget of three pieces of artificial greenery, preferably worth no more than $.10 a piece or $.30 altogether, and one plastic insect. String will be provided to suspend your craft from the ceiling, door knob, rear view mirror, or convenient wall hook (not provided), but leather thong costs you extra.

Admire your handiwork. Hang it high, hang it proud. Just don’t shake it too hard, it scares the termites.

7-16-11SaverSWood2

If the tag had advertised this as “fragment of the one true cross,” it would have been more convincing than “decor.” Decor for what? A teething hamster? Beavers? Maybe beavers would pay $1.99, it could be a really good piece of wood, once you pick off the parsley.

Or bundle it with a few matches. “In case of lack of fire, break glass.” It’s a rain forest on a string, complete with a thick layer of rotting organic matter. And a bug.

Savers on South Lamar, Austin

March 7, 2012   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized "handicrafts"

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2 Responses to “How much wood you pay?”

  1. Reply
    hotclaws / 8 Mar 2012 7:09am #

    Maybe it’s a posh home for your pet earwig?

  2. Reply
    Thrifting Blog Digest-#22 | Late Night Coffee / 22 Mar 2012 12:34pm #

    […] Maybe…if I was a Lorax….Read here. […]

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