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Jack and the Three-Storey Insertable (NSFW?)

It’s over forty feet tall. The cows stare at it in mixed wonder and terror. In a stiff wind, it might crush the house and make Grandma blush. It’s…well, let’s just say it’s big.

7-4-11SaversSToy2

This would have been about 20% funnier if it had been in glassware. Trust me, the jokes just write themselves. As it is, I can only speculate….who needs a pyrex adult accessory that’s bigger than a house? If I had one of those parked on my driveway, I’m pretty sure the home-owner’s association would have words with me. I don’t know what specific words they’d have, as far as I know they don’t have any specific restrictions on the use of sex toys as lawn art and the sizes and scales thereof, but they’d come up with something.

7-4-11SaversSToy1

Someone donated this. Someone multiplied the retail value of this object d’art by .25 to figure out their deductible. It’s probably more useful than that shirt that was missing every third button.

My partner, after seeing me snap a dozen shots of this guy, asked…”did you buy it?”

Really, there are some things you shouldn’t purchase used. You’d always be asking dark and unanswerable questions.

I know the kids at Savers got a kick out of this. Anyone with that many piercings would put a glass sex toy front and center, proudly erect, beside the santas and clowns and ceramic crosses purely out of deep and pathological irony. Savers cashiers, I salute you.

And so does the brik-a-brack section.

Savers on Burnet and North Loop, Austin

February 1, 2012   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized NSFW

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One Response to “Jack and the Three-Storey Insertable (NSFW?)”

  1. Reply
    Kt / 2 Feb 2012 8:24am #

    What? Some old decorator would love it. It’s a very nice stopper for a glass vase. /s

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