Ways thrift stores lie to us. The little angel wings tied onto this girl, one might think, indicate that she is an angel–a sweet little blond cherub.But the angel thing stops at the wings, I promise. This girl’s got plans. And they’re not nice plans.
And if you happen to be a bunny, or a deer, or god help you, any animal with parts that can be ripped off, twisted off, scraped away, or otherwise folded, spindled or mutilated, this is clearly NOT the hill you want to be on.
That bunny. I love that bunny. The deer are pretty funny too–if indeed they ARE deer, they look a lot more like Mexican Hairlesses than deer–but that bunny wins the prize for “shocked expression of the year.”
Look, the poor creature’s totally lost control of his vital functions. That’s how much the fuzzy woodland creatures fear her.
I think it’s the deer that have suffered most of all. Well…except for the sparrow with the deep cranial wounds, and I swear I was going to be off cranial wounds this week, but they’re never far from my heart. Or cranium. Anyway, the deer.
The deer may once have had majestic antlers, or cute little white tails that swished this way and that, but now? Now they’ve got stumps for antlers, the dubious kindness of a splash of calamine lotion on their deer-butts, and shocked, violated expressions. Disbelief and horror are the only appropriate responses.
The birds, they don’t chirp anymore. Sometimes, they just fall off the roof and flop in little circles until someone sets them back on their feet. This used to be a happy bird–this used to be a happy place–until the Procedure. The other birds left pretty quick after the Procedure. Not this one. The most he does is hop toward a bowl of birdseed, if you point him at it and give him a little push.
Don’t expect a song. His bob-bob-bobbing days are in the distant past.
Okay, so, a lot of Goodwill finds are a lot funnier in extreme close-up, here’s the full pic. It was worth it for the fuzzy bunny with the extreme facial expression–he’ll be joining the Schadenfreude Pumpkin in my “keepers” file.
Boo! Goodwill on 2222 and Lamar, Austin.