Okay, Goodwill, let’s just pause, step back a bit, and address some quality control issues, okay? Just a few…little…things. This goes beyond “make sure the Easter Bunny has a head when you sell them,” and far, far past “the box with the picture of the small personal stereo should ideally contain a small personal stereo, and not just be a box, because we cannot sell just a box, no matter how good our intentions are we are NOT trying to sell the flash.” No, this is a very basic, very simple concept.
If you sell a plate, rinse off the plate, okay? Seriously. We know it’s used, we don’t need a demonstration.
“Hi, I’m Nelma.”
“Hi, Nelma. You’re in a safe place here.”
“I’m with the group because…”
“Let it out, Nelma. Let the pain out.”
“It’s okay, baby, you’re with friends here.”
“I came here because I have a perfectly flat face and a perfectly flat head and my hair’s done up like Wolverine and I’ve stuck blueberries to the side of my head.”
“That’s good baby, you’re with friends here. We all got flat faces and flat heads and Wolverine hair and blueberries on the sides of our heads. We got to stick together.”
“I love you all.”
“We love you too, Logan.”
“I mean, Nelma.”
This is about that thing we were talking about before?
Thing? We were talking about a thing?
Yeah, the, uh, thing about washing plates before you sell them.
Uh…why? Were you talking about something like that?
Yeah, just like, five paragraphs ago. Before the crazy snub-nosed victorian girl with the salad bowl for a hat.
She was pretty cool.
You’re changing the subject.
No, I’m not. You never said anything about washing plates. I totally didn’t hear that. La la la la.
You’ve got your fingers in your ears, Goodwill.
Okay, just…never mind.
You know, it’s been like five years and I’m not sure where “Plate with Food” came from. I have a vague recollection of thinking it was the most disgusting thing I’d seen at the Savers on South Lamar, but I was proven wrong later. Pretty pretty princess…which, really, isn’t a plate, but it was round, and that’s kind of on topic, right?…from Texas Thrift on I35 and 51st, Princess Wolverine from Salvation Army on 183 near 620, Austin.