I’m thinking that’s the marketing slogan Nike’s ad team rejected. Up there with “Tragically, the footware is at fault,” “I’m afraid it’s the pumps,” and “Needless to say, it was the plimsolls.” And yet, you can’t argue with the stark reality of these clogs. If it’s anything, anything at all, it’s got to be the shoes. The people demand totality.
Imagine if Dorothy only wore comfortable shoes. And when she crushed the witch under her heel, and I’m pretty sure that’s how the story went, she contracted some unfortunate condition that you can only catch from infected witches, a morbid condition of the shoeâ€”sort of a sandle-mange. And for weeks and weeks, her ruby slippersâ€”or possibly sequined broguesâ€”slowly lost their glitter, dark bare patches spreading across them like mange, until finally she was taken out back and shot like Old Yellar. And I have to say, ever since the Wizard of Oz went public domain it’s been MUCH more fun to read, with good solid endings and none of this mucking about with broomsticks and sequels.
The one on the left is particularly nasty. Well, I should say, of the two the one on the left is somewhat less pleasant. The bow curling off and flaking away adds that faintest wiff of morbid tragedy that you don’t normally get in a pair of, say, loafers.
Which makes finding two pairs by the same designer in the same week some kind of magic.
North Austin was obviously blessed by the Horrid Shoe Fairy last October. It must have been unusually naughty.
We’re clearly edging into, if not the limits of what superglue can do, at least what it should do. It really would have taken very little effort to add some pizzaz to these little sandlesâ€”sadly, it also took very little effort to glue a couple of beads and a string of sequins on them and call them art. Mother’s day? 11th anniversary present? Post-divorce anti-gift? You be the judge!
I like the sparkly little thing near the toe. I don’t know if it’s a beautiful star, some kind of fruit dessert, or a new, sparkly kind of marine life. But I’m really leaning toward the latter.
Comfortable yet distressing shoes from Savers on North Lamar, Minimal Effort Sparkle Sandles from Goodwill on Parmer, Austin.
2 Responses to “Sadly, it’s the shoes.”
Please tell me the soles were not worn. I don’t know if I could stand the reality that someone actually wore those shoes.
Maaaaybe they were created for a “Wizard of Oz” themed costume party, and after one night of heavy drinking, a little too much green champagne, and a torrid affair with the Cowardly Lion, they were thrown into the closet as a reminder of past sins. What happens in Oz, stays in Oz.