ThriftHorror

Recent Posts

  • Interrupting your silence for an update!
  • Rabbit Season!!
  • Dolphins in Bondage
  • From the ‘Creepy Little Dead Girl’ Files
  • Putti: Creepy as F***

Recent Comments

  • Hannah Theresa Weyland on Just stand still.
  • Brunettepet on Can’t sleep, birdhouse will eat me
  • hotclaws on And another enigma.
  • Brunettepet on Well and truly fired
  • Brunettepet on A beautiful mystery!

Tags

"handicrafts" (tm) 12 Days 2010 12days2011 12days2012 12days2013 12days2014 aminals amorphous blobs angels bad art Bears Best Of biohazard bottles broked candles ceramics children Christmas clowns Country Crafts DIY dolls don't wear that! for the kids furries Halloween Holiday Posts horrors huh? it must be bunnies Just Cool juxtapositions kittens moments My Funny Valentine? Not PC NSFW plates puppies San Antonio shelfpig shell art Weird Religion

Best of Thrift

  • Next To New Consignment
  • Top Drawer Thrift
  • Treasure City Thrift

Blogness

  • Rewind Knits and Crochets
  • Thrift Madness
  • Thrift Store Adventures
  • Thrift Store Horror
  • Yardsaling to Adventure!

Links

  • RSS Feed
  • Thrifthorror on Facebook
  • Thrifthorror on Pinterest
  • ThriftHorror on Twitter

Cow…bell?

Gaze into the face of pure, undiluted handicraft.

5-30-10GWMetrCowbell3

Note how you can see the texture of the artist’s cruel hands as s/he/it moulded this thing into bleating, shambling life–you could almost identify them by thumbprint in the FBI’s national database of ceramics offenders. Possibly by the tiny smudges of nail polish, too, I’m not sure where that comes from. This is the artist that gave us the cow bell.

5-30-10GWMetrCowbell1

It looks a little surprised. Sort of like a centaur or minotaur, but half-cow, half-handbell. I didn’t actually ring it–I was afraid it might moo, or possibly start crying. It might, possibly, be a horse-bell, but that just doesn’t make any sense at all.

It was nice that the artist gave it a scarf. At least it gets some dignity.

5-30-10GWMetrCowbell2

I was most immediately reminded of the mayor of Halloweentown from Nightmare Before Christmas, who was a strange, pinch-lipped and rather bovine creature on his own. But Cowbell has a slightly better hairpiece. His earthenware toupee was shaped by some massive, crude hand with a well-placed fork, an eternally brittle ceramic coiffe. How much of the poor creature’s features can be blamed on kitchenware? His eye seems to be scooped out with a toothpick–probably the nose, too, but one badly-timed sneeze gave the beast a flared nostril that would give W.C. Fields a run for his money.

5-30-10GWMetrCowbell4

But I can’t imagine that everything about this is the fault of using cutlery to sculpt the poor creature. There must have been some level of malign intent. The face is that of a terorrized ungulate trying to escape…what? By his scarf, and the fact that he stands vertically, we might guess that he’s an intelligent creature–was he once a human? Is this beast like the story of Diana turning the huntsman Acteon into a stag–but better dressed, maybe from New England instead of Greece? Perhaps this is what happens to someone who accidentally catches a glimpse of Martha Stewart bathing.

No, strike that. He’d have better hair.

At any rate, gaze upon what your junior high art class has wrought, and despair, ye mortals.

It’s almost a given that this came from the Goodwill on Metric and 183, Austin. That’s how it shows it cares.

September 20, 2010   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized "handicrafts", aminals, horrors

Related Posts

  • Rabbit Season!!
    Rabbit Season!!
  • Dolphins in Bondage
    Dolphins in Bondage
  • Putti: Creepy as F***
    Putti: Creepy as F***
×

  • The Goddesses of TexasThrift
  • The Rapture of Gordon

Leave a Reply

Cancel

  • (will not be published)
Copyright © 2013 ThriftHorror - Things From Beyond the Bargain Bin: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, powered by Wordpress
7ads6x98y