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Special Flowers

8-28-07saverssflower

A game of “She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not” goes tragically wrong. It always ends in tears.

The life of an anthropomorphic flower is not a happy one. You’re pretty much guaranteed to lose a leg during that whole nasty “picking” scene. And then there’s just a few short days on the shelf, trying to look your prettiest as you wilt, and, apparently, bits fall off and have to be lashed back on with bits of leather cord. I would not want to be a flower.

5-30-10SvrsNFlower1

There can be only one!

Remember, you want to be the SPECIAL flower. Only the special flower gets watered. All those other pleb flowers can just wilt. They don’t even deserve special orange sunlight.

Seriously, that stuff’s expensive. Have you tried getting imported sunlight? Crappers! Organic fish emulsion is like $12 a bottle, but you REALLY have to pay for that high-quality sunlight they get in New England. You think the leaves are actually that orange? No, that’s just the better blend of sunlight they get.

Anyway, only one flower’s special enough for THAT treatment. And it probably has both legs.

One-legged orchid hand-picked at Savers near 290 and South Lamar. Special Flower picture from Savers near 2222 and Burnet.

July 7, 2010   TV's Jacob
Uncategorized bad art, broked

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