I don’t know what this is…
I don’t know what this is…

but I bet it makes a LOT of noise. I mean, look on it. It’s 1) a clown, 2) on a unicycle, 3) and I think it’s supposed to be a five-year-old. Think of the racket. I mean, it even looks like one of those little noisemaker rattles for new years, the ones made of […]

YES
YES

Finally, someone who understands. If I can find this person I will marry him or her, because this is the perfect harmony of left-brain creativity and right brain straightjacket order. This picture is a whole and unified personality. Or maybe not. On the frosted side, you have the maniacal whimsy that is bubblewrap. What other […]

Yes I very much like ducks
Yes I very much like ducks

JUDGE ME NOT. I am heir to empires, my ancestors for six generations pressed your ancestors’ faces gently but firmly into the mud so that they would not soil their boots in puddles. Really, they were exceptional boots, and faces can be washed. Totally worth the indignity and mudbubbles. You, of all people, will not […]

“The” “Aristocats”
“The” “Aristocats”

In Goodwill, no-one can hear you violate copyright. I know the Aristocats was not made during Disney’s greatest time. It was a part of their dark ages, a period of recycled animation and recycled plots. That being said, even in their worst years, Disney never stooped to making their characters out of chewing gum. Now, […]

Still more copyright violation
Still more copyright violation

Hair by Cathy Guisewite. We don’t specifically know what, exactly, Mickey rules. Is he some sort of medieval viscount? Perhaps he has a caliphate, where he acts as the supreme spiritual and temporal ruler of his people, mostly ducks. This girl, presumably his subject, doesn’t seem to be in love with the concept. Do not […]

Pedalling frantically, staying still
Pedalling frantically, staying still

The thing about a clown race is…there are no winners.¬†Particularly¬†when everybody is taped down, but it’s broadly true regardless. Fancy leopard print hats? Still clowns. Please note that this is definitive proof that clowns live in fear of God. See how they peddle. It does them no good, because…tape. Perhaps the pure light of heaven […]

Ladybug, ladybug
Ladybug, ladybug

This is only going to make sense to me, because we just finished watching a John Waters film, and in “Pink Flamingos” there’s this terrible scene where Edith Massey is trapped in a playpen shouting “EGGS! EGGS! EGGS!” And that’s really kind of unfair, because this is not an entirely uncute, but the image of […]

Mouse of great angst
Mouse of great angst

The mouse is doing what we have all done: starring in his own private 80s teen movie. Only difference is, in real life the ending wasn’t written by John Hughes, you really could get dressed up in your best (rented) tux, stand outside her house with a boombox, and not get the girl–just lose your […]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch
Meanwhile, back at the ranch

A few random things I’d never be able to build a post around… Take, for instance, this picture. Imagine if you were an infant, and someone–I’m not saying who–your father? Maybe it doesn’t matter, your experience of reality is quite finite–anyway, this person wants to play “peek-a-boo” with you. And they’re looming after you, enormous, […]

Who brought the matador to the honeymoon?
Who brought the matador to the honeymoon?

Want to spice up your wedding night to truly salsarific levels? Think that special night isn’t going to be special enough? Consider bringing along a matador. What portends a life of marital bliss and steamy conjugal excitement more than a bullfighter? Wouldn’t the wedding be more exciting if someone drove a series of banderillas into […]