Who brought the matador to the honeymoon?
Who brought the matador to the honeymoon?

Want to spice up your wedding night to truly salsarific levels? Think that special night isn’t going to be special enough? Consider bringing along a matador. What portends a life of marital bliss and steamy conjugal excitement more than a bullfighter? Wouldn’t the wedding be more exciting if someone drove a series of banderillas into […]

The mystery of Dada Kontrol
The mystery of Dada Kontrol

Somewhere in this world, there is clever commentary on art, and playful irony, and layered meaning. Not here, though. At least I think not. There may be a 10-page thesis for E309 (Rhetoric of Art) here. I’m guessing…a band? A really dated protest? I mean, Dada kind of died out in 1927. The Dadaists had a party […]

Today there will be big-eyed kittens.
Today there will be big-eyed kittens.

The 60s did something to people. If you survived them, apparently you started thinking big-eyed creatures–children, mostly, but dogs, some politicians, they even glued eyes to rocks because they weren’t big-eyed enough (or was that the 70′s? My bad.) Every time I think something is so absurd that is utterly doomed to die an unloved spinster, […]

Leo, your stars say bad hair day.
Leo, your stars say bad hair day.

Lions are, as I understand it, supposed to be majestic beasts of the Savannah; medieval scholars thought their appearance so strikingly human that they ennobled them, “king of the beasts.” This is not, not not not, one of those lions. This is the Yoda of lions. Tiny, twisted, wrinkled, enigmatic, and with a puppeteer’s hand […]

Bloodcam
Bloodcam

Oh, it’s Friday. Lower your standards with me. The last days were foretold in prophecy ages ago–how a great black sea would rise up over the land, how the sun would draw close, a sphere of terrible size, and how the skies would run red with blood and winds of sparks and flame would blow […]

Still more feet
Still more feet

(I’m so sorry for my frequent absences lately, I was working on a Kickstarter project which ate my entire life for about three months. That project is wrapping up now, thank goodness! Back to your regularly scheduled ceramic clowns.) We secretly replaced this high school geography class’s map of the world with this picture of feet. Let’s […]

….and then there were feet?
….and then there were feet?

This picture is so amazing that I’m going to spend the rest of the week on it. I could probably spend an ENTIRE week on it, but really that’s too much madness for one week.You could get lost in it. Take crazy-eyes here. Crazy-eyes, like so many of her friends, lives in a foot. It’s […]

Genuinely creepy dog
Genuinely creepy dog

The 70s called. They said they could keep their dog. Frankly, it was scaring the big-eyed children, and had put the big-eyed cat off its Tender Vittles. Dog, or fungus? I ask myself that every day, but as it turns out, no, they’re supposed to smell like that. I don’t know that they’re supposed to […]

This little piggie….was SUPERMAN
This little piggie….was SUPERMAN

It’s time for our semi-quarterly visit from the Shelfpig! This pig is all things to all people. If you want danger, he’s a tiger. Look at them stripes. The mask, the dark paint around the eyes and…uh…snout. This pig is a pig of action, if you want him to be. And yet, he’s a pig […]

I bought it, dear reader
I bought it, dear reader

I don’t know what it is. It wants to serve something small and nibbley. I tried peanut M&Ms, but they just kind of rolled out, onto the counter, then the floor, then the german shepherd ate them. So that wasn’t it. If I was to guess–and I guessed M&Ms and got that wrong–it could be a glorious […]